Episode from the podcastA Codependent Mind

S8 - Chapter 4: The Work

Released Wednesday, 23rd July 2025

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S8 - Chapter 4: The Work

Wednesday, 23rd July 2025

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In this episode, Brian reads Chapter 4, which explores what it means to "do the work" in relationships, distinguishing between compulsive, performative labor rooted in childhood survival strategies and the intentional, collaborative work required for emotionally healthy partnerships. The chapter also sets the stage for the rest of the book by introducing the concept of relationship tools: emotions, behaviors and resources that can either build or erode connection depending on how they are used. Each tool will be examined for its purpose, misuse, and proper function, with a focus on outcomes rather than moral judgments.

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From The Podcast

Get an intimate, honest look at how codependency can develop and how it can be overcome. Brian and Stephanie take you ’behind the scenes’ of their experiences and their relationship, lifting the veil on how codependent behaviors can cause life long pain and suffering if not addressed. Learn how Brian has been able to understand the web of behaviors that formed his codependency and move on to build healthier relationships.Season one explores the origins of Brian’s codependent behaviors and the connection between Codependency and trauma. In addition to answering the question ”what is codependency?”, episodes on trauma bonding, narcissism, shame detail out how behaviors emerging from his childhood interpersonal trauma prevented him from developing healthy relationships as he grew into adulthood. In fact, they left him vulnerable to other disordered people like narcissists thereby exposing him to more trauma and entrenching the codependent habits even further.In season two, we outline how Brian went about healing the trauma the formed the root of his codependency. We discuss how Brian was able to recognize the abuse he had suffered and was suffering and in doing so, finally get clarity about and distance from his relationships with narcissist; how he was able to learn how to sit with his emotions, recognize what they were, where they came from and how to process them; how he had to re-write the stories about himself and his past that weren’t serving him and were actually preventing him from living an authentic, integrated life; and how he worked, and is working, to break the codependent habits that were destructive to his well being and not conducive to forming healthy, integrated relationships.Even after understanding and healing from codependency, Brian is still left with re-learning how to navigate relationships in a way that produces the kind of intimate, nurturing connections that he has always longed for. Season three addresses topics that come up in that process. In the fourth season, we investigate core concepts about relationships and the ways in which codependent behaviors can make it difficult to form and sustain loving, intimate relationships. Season 5 brings other voices into the conversations as we speak with guests who share their own ’making and re-making’ stories. We also take the opportunity to do an updated episode on narcissism. Season 6 was a reading of the book ”The Making and the Re-Making of A Codependent Mind.” The book is available on Amazon as a paperback, ebook or audiobook. The audiobook is also available on Spotify and other platforms. For season 7, each episode will focus on the tools needed to make a relationship work post-codependency.

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