Anxious and Avoidant in Relationship: The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

Anxious and Avoidant in Relationship: The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

Released Monday, 9th December 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Anxious and Avoidant in Relationship: The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

Anxious and Avoidant in Relationship: The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

Anxious and Avoidant in Relationship: The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

Anxious and Avoidant in Relationship: The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

Monday, 9th December 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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We all have different needs for closeness and distance, for intimacy and independence. You might have heard terms like anxious or avoidant attachment to describe this, and these tendencies can create challenges - particularly when people with different needs try to relate to each other. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we're drawn to people who activate our insecurities, how anxiety manifests differently in "pursuers" versus "distancers," and what we can all do to work with our natural tendencies more skillfully. They discuss common relationship patterns, why pursuers usually receive more blame than distancers, schizoid personalities, and practical ways to break free from entrenched patterns.Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWBYou can watch this episode on YouTube.Key Topics:0:00: Introduction2:00: Key characteristics of pursuers and distancers9:25: Demands and reassurance13:35: Assigning blame, and gender stereotypes20:40: Why opposites attract, the power of small wins, and changing ourselves31:15: The distancer40:45: Finding motivation to identify common ground with our partner54:30: The pursuer1:00:00: Self-consciousness and ego1:02:10: Brave questions to ask in your relationship1:07:00: RecapI am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.SponsorsUse promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson.Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.Connect with the show:

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