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In this powerful conversation, relationship coach Jack Longbottom joins James to explore the real meaning of boundaries, the courage it takes to own your part in a relationship, and why “the work” is simply the part of you that keeps trying.

Jack opens up about his upbringing in a family affected by addiction, the suppression of his sensitivity as a child, and the life-changing experience of his first men’s retreat. He shares how those moments shaped his commitment to helping others and how his partner Erica has been pivotal in his personal growth.

Together, they unpack the difference between fear-based and love-based boundaries, revealing why most people misunderstand them and how to create boundaries that actually stick. Jack explains the nuances between rigid, porous, and loving boundaries — and why the most effective ones start with what you will do, not what the other person must do.

The conversation also dives deep into ownership — reframing it as authorship. Jack highlights the power of asking: “Given everything that’s happened, what do I want to do next?” From failed relationships to daily conflict, they explore how self-awareness, curiosity, and small consistent actions can transform connection.

You’ll also hear stories about:

• How commitment is a daily choice, not a one-time promise
• Why conflict is co-created and how to shift from blame to repair
• The importance of agreements alongside boundaries
• The trap of “stopping trying” in long-term relationships

This episode is a heartfelt guide to building relationships rooted in respect, care, and resilience — with practical tools you can start using today.

About Jack:

Jack is a qualified relationship coach who helps couples using a blend of practical tools, emotional insight and a hardline of removing restricting/untrue beliefs to support lasting change. Jack believes that much of our relational behaviour is shaped by the baggage we carry — often unconsciously — from past experiences. By helping clients understand how their nervous system responses & relational strategies impact connection, safety, and reactivity; He empowers them to build more consciously connected and authetic relationships through both individual ownership and collaboration with others.