What happens when the weight of the badge becomes too much to bear? Jake Belay's story captures the harrowing journey from decorated officer to PTSD survivor, revealing the often-hidden psychological toll of law enforcement service.

Jake never imagined himself becoming a police officer. Growing up in Decorah, Iowa, his path to law enforcement was unexpected – from studying psychology to working with troubled youth, he eventually found himself drawn to police work after witnessing an officer's compassionate handling of a juvenile dispute. Within just three years of joining the Iowa City Police Department, Jake was named Officer of the Year, became a specialized Drug Recognition Expert, and achieved his dream position on the street crimes unit.

Then 2020 happened. As riots erupted following George Floyd's death, Jake found himself targeted by online threats, with his family's safety jeopardized. The city council members who once praised his work now advocated for defunding the department. The psychological impact was devastating, though Jake wouldn't recognize his PTSD symptoms until much later.

"I went from Officer of the Year to being told my attitude was terrible," Jake reveals, highlighting how mental health struggles in first responders are often misinterpreted as character flaws. Even after changing departments, the internal battles continued until he eventually left law enforcement altogether in 2023.

Jake's powerful testimony shows how trauma can accumulate silently, with night terrors and flashbacks normalized as "just part of the job." Now working as a trauma recovery coach, he's transforming his painful experiences into purpose by helping other first responders recognize and address their own struggles before reaching crisis.

The 10-42 Project continues this vital work, having helped 22 first responders in suicidal crisis last year alone. Are you a first responder struggling with similar issues, or do you know someone who is? Visit 1042project.org to learn how you can get support or become an ambassador helping others in your department.

If you or someone you know is in crisis and at risk of self-harm, please call or text 988, the suicide and crisis lifeline.

To contact us directly send an email to Dan@10-42project.org or call 515-350-6274
Visit our website! 10-42project.org
Check us out on social media!
Youtube: @1042project
Facebook: www.facebook.com/1042project
Instagram: 1042_project