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In this deeply honest conversation, James and guest Jack explore the truth about conflict in relationships — why it’s not a sign of weakness, but a natural and even necessary part of building something lasting. Together, they unpack the myths around “perfect” partnerships, share personal stories of being conflict-avoidant “nice guys,” and reveal how real growth comes from leaning in rather than running away.

Jack shares the powerful mantra his partner uses during tough moments: “It’s you and me versus the challenge, not you versus me.” From this, they explore practical tools for moving from knee-jerk reactions to thoughtful responses, including the importance of taking a pause, naming what you’re feeling, and agreeing on a repair process that goes deeper than quick fixes or sweeping issues under the rug.

The conversation digs into the deeper layers of why conflict feels so threatening — from childhood conditioning to unhealed relational patterns — and how our partners often mirror the shadows we most need to face. They discuss the role of acceptance, boundaries, and radical ownership in creating a space where both people can be fully seen, even in their most uncomfortable truths.

You’ll hear stories about men’s work, shadow work, and how formative experiences shape the way we connect. Jack reflects on the pivotal role of his relationship in his personal growth and shares his definition of ownership as “authorship” — the choice to create the future you want, even after difficult or unfair experiences.

Whether you’re navigating romantic conflict, family dynamics, or friendships, this episode offers a roadmap for turning disagreements into deeper connection, replacing blame with curiosity, and building relationships rooted in care, respect, and resilience.

About Jack:

Jack is a qualified relationship coach who helps couples using a blend of practical tools, emotional insight and a hardline of removing restricting/untrue beliefs to support lasting change. Jack believes that much of our relational behaviour is shaped by the baggage we carry — often unconsciously — from past experiences. By helping clients understand how their nervous system responses & relational strategies impact connection, safety, and reactivity; He empowers them to build more consciously connected and authetic relationships through both individual ownership and collaboration with others.